STOP BLAMING OTHERS
and start to take full responsibility for your life
Yep, that’s a hard pill to swallow for some of you guys.
I know that, because I’ve been there too. Constantly blaming others for the trauma and experiences I’ve been through, projecting insecurities into relationships - a never ending cycle of pain and suffering.
As soon as you realize that people are only mirroring back to you what you radiate out, literally your whole perspective on life starts to change. So every time you get triggered by something outside of you, it only reveals a part of you that is not fully healed yet.
A part of you that is still wounded, lonely and rejected by you. And that’s where shadow work comes in.
Your trauma may not be your fault - but now it’s your responsibility to heal it. You are the only one responsible for your own healing. The more you project blame on external circumstances for your current life, the more you display your own power within the situation. It’s your choice. It’s always been and always will be.
Ask yourself what you can do to change your life? To level up and get out of your comfort zone. The wisdom is already there, within you. You just need to remember it.
“You can get discouraged many times, but you are not a failure until you begin to blame somebody else and stop trying.” ― John Burroughs
You are responsible for the life that you want to live. You are responsible for creating that - it’s honestly no one else’s responsibility around you, to make you feel any type of way. It’s nobody else’s responsibility to make you feel loved, safe or seen - to meet your needs. You are the only person that has the ability to do that. So choose yourself, choose healing, even if it may suck from time to time. Yes, it can get ugly, when you decide to face the shadows inside of you, you so long wanted to hide. To accept and make yourself responsible for your choices, your feelings, your thoughts and actions. It may seem like a lot of weight to hold. But trust me - If you commit to that journey, you’re going to find yourself again. You’re authentic self - not the version of you, you thought you wanted to be. Not the version of you that manifests, feels and thinks out of ego, jealously, lack and comparison. No. You’re going to meet the part of your soul that is untouched, that is Divine and that creates for the pure sake of creating, for the pure sake of joy, love and compassion. That’s when you truly are going to be able to reach your full potential. When you pass the gate to healing & fully commit yourself to it. And believe me when I say that you’re going to fall in love with the process, with life and with yourself as soon as you get a glimpse of the limitless potential that lies within you - and that holds so much more value than the temporary pain you may experience.
Do you care enough about yourself to make the conscious decision to change, to discard old and familiar thought patterns and behaviors and step into the unknown, to lose yourself in it and find yourself anew? You have the opportunity, every day, every single moment. What do you decide? To keep playing the unconscious program in your head, or to start challenging it. Your thoughts, your emotions, your beliefs and actions.
Are you ready to respond to life and the circumstances, rather than reacting to them emotionally - to be more involved in life but less attached to it.
Are you willing to deliberately choose to be happy, no matter what your outer circumstances may look like? Because being happy is NOTHING you will ever find in your outer world. It's a State of Being, that only you can create within yourself. Quit waiting for the perfect moment to be happy.
Do not compare happiness with the temporary high you achieve through external validation - whether it's the new car, going from one partner to the other, or losing yourself in drugs.
Do you care enough to finally own your life and create your reality consciously, instead of being a victim to external circumstances?
It's your choice.
Honestly, I’ve learned that life is less about what happens to you and more about how you respond to it. And now read that again and let it sink deep into your subconscious mind - Life is less about what happens and more about HOW you respond to it. Everyday life will present you tons of new opportunities to grow, expand, learn and evolve further. You’ll either take them or pass them. Not everything in life will go as planned. Things will get messy. People will leave. But one bad day should not define your whole life. Surely, you cannot blame how life unfolds your journey. But, you can take over the driving seat and control the direction of your life anytime. It doesn’t matter how old you are, I don’t care about your excuses or your current life circumstances. You can literally start right now. Take out a piece of paper and write down your wildest dreams. Stick this paper where you can see it every day. Take baby steps each day, which will bring you closer to achieving your goal. DO THE SHADOW WORK! (That is going to be one of the upcoming topics on my blog, so stay tuned for that).
Sure, failure will hit you. But that’s part of the process. It’s only through mistakes that we learn. At times you’ll also feel like quitting. But remember, that your brain indeed is a miraculous thing. Your self talk influences your thoughts, your energy and therefore the frequency you vibrate on. Thoughts, repeated over a long period of time, eventually do become matter. So take responsibility for your life, choose to heal for yourself. Choose to break out of your subconscious pattern and claim your life back. Because it’s yours and ONLY yours to create! Regardless of what has happened to you, you will always have the ability to choose how to move forward. The things that have happened to you cannot define you unless you allow them to. You are a limitless soul, capable of transcending your current weaknesses, traumas, and limitations.
I get it. It’s human nature to take the easy route and blame other people for our own problems and circumstances. But life doesn't work like that - in fact, this mentality is doing us a great disservice in the long run.
The truth is that no one has total control over their lives. Even if the odds seem stacked against you, the only thing that matters is how you respond and adapt to what life throws at you. You have the power to control how you react, even when it seems that nothing is within your control.
The idea of extreme ownership teaches you that it's better to focus on the things you can control and think about what you could have done better, rather than constantly blaming someone else. That kind of thought process can be difficult to follow - after all, when one feels betrayed or wronged, it's much easier to cast oneself as the victim and blame the other party. So, in order to prevent this cycle of blaming, we have to actively practice self-awareness and patience. Taking the time to step back and acknowledge our emotions is important - this allows you to identify when you may be instinctively jumping to blame others, and instead choose to focus on what you can do differently to make your life better.
Extreme ownership is about taking personal responsibility for your life and embracing the challenge that comes with it. Yes, it can be hard to resist the instinct to blame others, but the conscious and repeated practice of taking full responsibility for your life and accepting the circumstances you cannot control, can pay off greatly in the long run.
Why should you adopt this mindset, even though it is clearly the more difficult thing to do? Because it is empowering. It shows that you alone are responsible for your happiness, and you can always do something about it.
The truth is, it is easy to blame, yet harder to take responsibility for our actions. Blaming takes up a lot of energy, energy that could be spent on growing, changing, and developing our lives for the better. If we start to take responsibility for our own lives, and for our own emotions, then suddenly the power lies within our hands. It’s true – life is so much easier and fun to manage when we stop blaming other people and start taking responsibility for our own choices and our own decisions.
Think of it this way – are you someone who cowers in fear and misery, rendered powerless by outside events? Or are you someone who is strong, courageous and resilient despite whatever the world throws at them? This is a choice you have to make, and it can be scary. But I think that with responsibility comes true power.
So instead of letting your energy be wasted on blaming other people, why not take that energy and focus it on the person that you can control and change? That person is you. Stop blaming, and start taking responsibility – it could be the first step to making a positive change in your life.
I hope that you all were able to gain some new insights and thoughts reading this new blog post! It is time to make this world a tiny bit brighter by intentionally committing to improve ourselves, heal ourselves and to continuously grow as souls. 🫧🧚🏼✨🌀