HOW OLD HABITS AND COPING MECHANISMS ACTUALLY HOLD YOU BACK
.. From aligning with your highest self
Feeling trapped and defined by your old self is such a tricky place to be. On the one hand you are putting in the mental work, healing your inner child and consciously cultivating more self awareness to literally break the habit of being yourself (yes, I am referring to Dr. Joe Dispenza’s book here, which you should absolutely read imo), yet on the other hand you cannot seem to fully let go of old habits, thought patterns or certain coping mechanisms - which obviously is the main reason why you might feel stuck in your healing journey right now.
You still feel more attached to a memory of the past than to the vision of your gracious future.
Well, if that’s the case for you right now, you might want to reconnect, rehearse and reflect on your current behaviors and coping mechanisms. Isn't it almost paradoxical to claim that you are willing to put in the necessary work into your healing, into your growth and evolution, while still unconsciously or even consciously falling back into old habits and unhealthy ways of thinking, which obviously leave you feeling trapped in your current familiar reality. You may not be truly ready for CHANGE, if you are not willing to consciously step into the Unknown. And if that’s the case for you, well then the Universe won’t align you with your highest timeline now.
You can't expect to live as your most authentic self, if you are not willing to let go of old behaviors that may have been part of your "identity" at some point in your life - but are no longer aligned with your vision NOW. Yes, it is damn hard to let go of things, which gave you so much support and a sense of security in the past. But isn't that what it's all about? To let go of all the things that are no longer serving you, in order to make space for more aligned things to come into your life?
What’s one habit, or coping mechanism you still do, despite the fact that it subconsciously triggers thought patterns YOU NO LONGER want to identify with? Really think about it. I know that it may be hard to admit that to yourself - if that’s the case, ask yourself what has more value to you: Reaching your full potential and attracting your dream life by taking the leap of faith and step into the unknown and consciously committing to your healing journey, even if it may suck from time to time OR to keep living in the familiar, choosing safety - but at what cost?
You’re only scared to let go of all that is familiar to you. Of all that you know. That’s all - you’re simply getting dictated by the fear based inner child that inhabits your mind. It’s not your fault, the traumas, the pain and suffering - but now it’s your responsibility to heal.
I for example have come to the realization that as long as I’m not willing to change AND heal my relationship towards exercising and my self worth once and for all, I am probably never going to be able to live like THE MOST authentic, confident and glowing version of myself that I’m currently aspiring to be. Some of you now will probably think what is so bad about being so disciplined and determined when it comes to exercising? After all, some of you may be striving to achieve that in your lives. To improve your physical fitness - and that’s AWESOME fr! - but for me, that means continuing to hold on to my eating disorder. To only feeling "valid" based on how I perform at the gym, how my current physique looks and how much I weigh. And that subconsciously supports all the low vibration energies such as lack, anxiety, overthinking, self doubt and self hatred. Lately, I have been consciously paying attention to my thoughts before, during and after working out and I have found that I feel a lot more confident, authentic and aligned BEFORE working out as I do during and after. I feel more in tune with myself - and that is often lost as soon as I enter the gym. Simply because in this environment I am again unconsciously confronted with old habits, ways of thinking and structures that feed my eating disorder. See what’s good for you, may be counterproductive for others.
The gym used to be my sanctuary - it was the only place I found comfort from my eating disorder. It consumed my days for three hours, six days a week, and had become a source of identity for me. Now, I’ve realized that the life I had constructed for myself is out of alignment with the person I truly want to become - so I had to make the difficult decision to let go of the excessive attachment to the gym. This decision was incredibly hard for me, since I’ve literally built my life and identity around the gym and created a strong sense of familiarity and routine around it. We all know that we as humans have a strong affinity towards the known, and often have trouble venturing into the unknown. However, by making the choice to let go of the gym, I opened the door to opportunities that are more aligned with the version of myself that intuitively feels more like my AUTHENTIC self. Not the version I pretended to be. Through letting go of this unhealthy coping mechanism, I no longer choose to nurture my eating disorder and I am finally able to take back my life and align it with the person I KNOW for a fact that I can be. It allowed me to access a part of myself that had been stifled for years, which is my creative side. No longer stuck in the same vicious cycle, I have WAY more time time to explore new activities and experiment with things that had been difficult for me to enjoy before. This new environment allows me to challenge myself, to push the boundaries of what I thought would be possible and to tap into an untapped reserve of creative potential.
It’s a hard journey of letting go, detaching from the known and taking the leap of faith in discovering new activities, but I can confidently say that it’s been worth it. As I slowly learn to incorporate different aspects into my life and form new habits, I am actively building an identity and lifestyle that aligns more with my highest timeline. All of these positive shifts in my life have helped to break me free from the idea that my value is based on the amount of time I spend in the gym or how good my physique looks. Instead, I am learning to value my passions, growth and the small steps I am taking towards the ultimate goal of reaching my highest potential.
Our lives are determined by our beliefs and how we interact with our environment. In other words, our choices create our reality. If we’re not mindful of our choices and what we focus on, we’ll be in a ‘default’ mode, where we take action that’s defined by our past and what we already know. It’s important to understand that if we stay in this familiar reality, it’s very difficult to manifest the life we desire. It requires developing the mindset, changing your habits and developing new skills that align with what you want to manifest. In addition, it’s essential to learn to tap into a higher frequency – where thoughts and beliefs around what is possible begin to open up.
This means embracing unfamiliar realities, such as learning new skills, meeting new people and understanding new perspectives. To stay in alignment with this higher timeline, we need to be mindful and deliberate in our choices and decisions. This means being aware of our limiting beliefs and being mindful of what we focus on and the environment we put ourselves in.
Overall, the ability to manifest our dreams is within our power and potential, however we cannot expect to bring those into fruition without doing the necessary work to align with our highest timeline and getting out of our ‘familiar reality’. Taking steps to recognize and dismantle old thoughts, habits and beliefs and creating space for growth, new ideas and beliefs will make all the difference.
These old patterns may have worked in the past, but they don’t align with our highest path and purpose in life. When you let go of the need to define yourself by what you already know and become open to something new, you create space for something magical to emerge, which may be out of your current imagination. You can finally unlock your true potential and attract abundance, success, and joy into your life by detaching from all that you know and make space for new possibilities to come to you.
Breaking the habit of being yourself starts with cultivating awareness of your environment, of your actions, and of your own mental processes. That is to say, to create a new reality, you must begin to question what you are used to and try to discover what lies beyond the ordinary. To achieve this, start by becoming aware of any biases or beliefs that limit your understanding of the world. In other words, break free of the restrictions of familiarity to become conscious of how your mental models may have prevented you from perceiving alternative perspectives. In order to explore a potential different version of yourself, set intentions and be intentional about taking small steps every day. Create achievable goals and be patient with yourself when you fall short or have moments of hesitation. As you progress, cultivate discipline, dedication, and curiosity to continue making progress. Remind yourself that the process of breaking the habit of being yourself and creating a new reality takes time and practice. Finally, commit to the change and enjoy the journey.
Start by accepting the change that you wish to create and let go of the idea that the “old you” has to be forgotten. Releasing the chains of familiarity can bring newfound clarity and inspiration, enabling you to take risks, find creative solutions, and make better choices. Create a plan for yourself, taking baby steps to introduce change and reward yourself for progress. Change can often be intimidating, so make it less so by starting with small changes.
Be patient and compassionate with yourself and set realistic expectations. Recognize that change can be difficult, and try to approach it with kindness and understanding. It is a process, and while it can be daunting at first, in time, it will become easier. Find support in those around you. Talk to others who may have gone through a similar journey and ask for their advice. Knowing you’re not alone can be very comforting and empowering.
It is possible to break the habit of being yourself and start embracing new habits and changes. As with any major life change, it may take some time and effort, but in the end, it is worth it. By accepting yourself, cultivating self-awareness, setting realistic goals, and having the courage to break away from old habits, you can find yourself open to exciting possibilities and self-growth.
Connect to your own power. One of the first steps in learning to break the habit of being yourself is to reconnect to your own sense of power and agency. By doing this, you can start to look beyond your limiting beliefs and behaviors and move into uncharted territory. Once you begin to recognize your limiting beliefs and thought patterns, it’s important to replace them with more open-minded and expansive ways of seeing the world. Make space for other perspectives, learn new skills, challenge your beliefs and practice actively listening to others’ ideas and experiences. This will enable you to form a deeper understanding of yourself and others, which can open the door to an entirely new reality.
Embrace the unknown. Moving into unknown territories requires you to confront your fears and doubts and to lean into a sense of openness and exploration. This requires letting go of your current reality and pushing the boundaries of what is known.
Make time to explore. This is an important step in moving away from being defined by your familiar reality. Make time for yourself to do something new and different. This can be anything from exploring new hobbies, going on a vacation, taking up a new sport or skill, or trying a different style of eating.
Set an intention for growth. You don’t have to know where this process is going, but setting an intention to learn and grow through the experience will give you a focus and a purpose to follow.
You may not be able to control the things that are happening around you, but you can control how you react to it. Believe that you are brave enough to let go, and that you can go through the pain that comes with it. That pain will remind you how strong you are.
I hope this inspired you to reflect and rehearse your current behaviors, thoughts and habits! Feel free to share with anyone you think could benefit from this post and support me in reaching more people 🫶🏼
Until next time,
Francesca 🧚🏼🫧